Wednesday, 30 June 2010

One Unexpected Visitor.


Out of the blue, times when you least expect it, an unexpected visitor who means no harm sends out a message in the form of an email. From there - an instant connection; where both parties are able to easily relate to each other. Showered with conversations involving someone that made a positive impact in both of our lives. I must say I find it amusing (in a good way) to be able to share the procedures on gradually 'moving on'. Procedures I put into practice over the past years, unwillingly.

Come to think of it, maybe it's simply the cherry on top to finally let go, to finally willingly listen to my own advice. Accept the fact that anything that made/makes you smile, made/makes your day simply cannot be eradicated but it can surely be stored deep within the human heart, down in the pit of the stomach if you have to; in the form of memories.

Thank you (:

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Right Down The Line

Apart from multiple of dentist appointments and the desire of wanting braces asap, the start of Summer couldn't be darn good. I say this because there's alot of 'me' time. Pampering myself and rediscovering my abilities (lol). Reading novels guilt-freely. Novels that I hesitated to read during the semester. Now that it's all over, hoooray. Also, the fact that it's football season; I am able to religiously watch the matches.

Apart from that, there's the going out activities which I haven't had time yet apart from going with the family. Must catch up with friends soon. However, after the Summer schedule's been fulfilled (only planned upto 3 weeks) What am I to do now? I'm thinking of working before the results come out but knowing my parents, they would rather hire me as their PR than see me work which I think is unfair. I need innovative suggestions as to how I am going to spend the next 2 months. I mean yes, there are the occasional hangouts and lazing by the sofa watching series, but I need something that I can commit myself to, something major; the same level as school. Closest thing I can think of is a job.

A friend of mine offered a job 'going door-to-door' to interview residents regarding something that I didn't quite get, to me but I unfortunately turned it down due to transport tribulations. See the thing is, I have my license sitting by my bookcase, waiting to be laminated and securely kept in my wallet. No use, not until I prove to my parents that I'm confident enough to drive behind the wheel. Honestly, I fret alot. Need to overcome that. Ranting at it's best.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Meddling In

Just when things are starting to look up, finally moving on - it all falls down. As soon as a new chapter is about to be begin; the second most powerful family member whom every word I take into account starts convincing me that I'm about to regret whatever I'm doing, dictating, merely trying to control the situation.

As a 19 year old venturing life, isn't supposed to be my decision who I ought to associate with? I don't want to have to feel the burden whenever I'm around this person. It's a terrible feeling because rebellion is far from - me.

Bottling up my feelings from mom is definitely unlike me hence I was skeptical at first but sometimes, there are things better left unsaid. Prior to this, I did take the time to convince myself that maybe it's for the best, where some things aren't worth fighting for. A 'break' doesn't seem to be out of reach anymore therefore better now than later where both parties might end up getting hurt. Not in a million years have I imagined myself ever using that damned tactic.

Never let emotions play a role, stay as rational and heartless as you can whilst covering it up with optimism. Also, love is only a state of mind. That's what I realized - now. I didn't see it then. Probably hazed by somewhat the endless conversations which does still seem pretty endless, but about to be wrapped up. It may sound like as if I'm making this matter into such a big deal, but this is a whole different meaning because I'm strongly disagreeing to my very own suggestion.

Freedom

Schoooooooooooooool's out for the Summer~~!



Happy Holidays, it's 3 months worth of good ol' fun (i.e. late nights, planned events, catching up summer reads, experimenting my culinary skills etc etc).

To sum up, close to paradise. Lovin' the feeling of the after-exam effect.