Our souls intertwined at the start of the year.
I lived every moment without fear.
We fell in love in an instant,
As we found a deep connection, in which time could not contain.
And learned about you as a person, your past and present.
Without any judgement as to who you were.
We were moving at the speed of light.
Caught in the moment, we started by adjusting to fit into each other's military life,
And FaceTime to every free time we had to get us by
How we see eye to eye, in the future we were setting to build,
But most importantly, how we held on to hope so early, and to never let go of something that may never come again in a lifetime..and so we believed.
So when that ray of light sets in
Love was not enough to save it all.
We called it quits and still can't comprehend how.
Time may have not been on our side.
Maybe we were just meant to learn from one another.
So we accepted that it was best to leave it as it is.
And live with the remnants we left on each other.
Keeping it closer than ever.
You're always going to be a someone that I can't quite explain.
Not just an ex boyfriend or some other man.
But someone forever significant to me.
One that I would tell about to my future kids someday.
On appreciating and loving someone wholeheartedly.
Though we promised to never lose touch.
There may come a day we won’t be in each other’s life again
Should that day come, I’ll be the first to say,
Take me back to 2017 with A.
Ingrained in our heads were those values alongside some other core values encompassed by the defence institution. I knew if we all lived by that, we'd get through not just the training but also our (long) service ahead of us. Alhamdulillah, as an intake, we frequently do remind each other. A year and 10 months has passed since. Every now and then, we'd reiterate the experiences, the places that have sentimental values to us, unforgetabble incidents both funny and sad. OCS was probably the highlight of 2015 that if I were to write about it, it would take an entire blog. Perhaps someday when time is on my side.
First entry post for 2015. 2015 has been one overwhelming year, full of emotive concoctions. I could not have asked for a better start to the year, well in some parts and I guess, since we're almost coming to an end - an end to 2015.
I will have my new years resolutions ready by next week. Time to get my settings right and ready to take on 2016 with open arms.
I have never understood the notion of the dominion of men. Fine, it is apparent we live in a men's world and as a straight up feminist (to a certain extent), it is hard to accept that fact. Yes men are better in certain areas but surely there are things that men cannot do that women are greater at, even my dad would say so. I guess observing my dad and the way he appreciates and respects my mum has led me to think that such gender inequality, degradation is just an illusion but no, I suppose it does not apply in my very own country.
I grew up with individuals that see both genders as equals so entering an environment that opposes to the notion of equality is sort of saddening. Yes, men have more power compared to women and the Islamic faith confirmed that which I can accept but I mean in other cases; to think low of women and their capabilities and how certain jobs are 'women's job' like how they belong in the kitchen etc...No, I don't think so. I swear I get into alot of arguments with the opposite gender regarding sexism but at the end of the day, I think to myself that it is not worth proving your point to airheaded egoistical men that see the world with only an eye open.
Reading back my posts makes me gag and laugh a little.
It has been a crazy 2013/2014.
- Graduated, job hunt and all that jazz.
- Got a job at Ishajaya as a Business Exec.
- Left my amazing boss and colleagues after 3 months.
- Lost 8 kgs!
- Meeley got spayed :(
- Just after turning 23 early this year, I entered a world of unexpected pain.
Bottomline, signed up for something I will never regret.
It's now almost the end of Ramadan and it is always so bittersweet. This year's got to be the most challenging Ramadan but I know it's worth persevering.
My blog is starting to collect dust. It has been eons since my last post that if I were to note everything down, it would probably take half or the entire day even. I might as well use that time to do something productive...but what?
I mean, uni's over, relaxing is starting to become a chore. I have to say that I really miss writing essays, analysing, researching and the usual debate "on how soon I should start my essay" with myself. I miss the life of a university student. The real world seems...harder but it is about time that I step into it.
Gone are the days where I can take on the world without a care (hyperbolicly speaking), where I can sleep in peace without expecting that one special phonecall from the multitude of jobs I applied to..just, gone. I can only imagine how easy life was when I was in Primary School. Good heavens, would go back to those days any time.
However, trying to equip yourself and undertake the real world is somewhat exciting because aside from all the snoozefest from the long long wait of getting THE job; it's being able to portray your capabilities and knowing that you're chosen for a particular job based on your knowledge (as well as rezeki, ofcourse) Your capabilities are not based on grades anymore like how it is in uni, it is your performance at work, what you bring to the table, the skills you acquire and if they do have a grading system it would probably be based on merits.
Thinking about this makes all the problems I had in my early years so insignificant. It's true what parents tell us when they say "you haven't lived, my child". I'm starting to see how much we go through as we age...
The day I turned 22 fell at the start of Easter holiday. As third year students, Easter break does not particularly signify freedom. Well we could fit in some lazing abouts, some series' catch-ups and possible late night chillin' manillin' but deep down, you can't help but be haunted by the possibility of not getting tasks done in time. Deadlines were in three weeks' time, plus exams so technically to summarize this phenomenon, I, well we, didn't have much time but we did have our fair share of procrastination. With this, I did not expect a celebration to my birthday :'(
When reminded of my birthday, I brushed it off, telling ones that did mention not to acknowledge my birthday hahaha. And to my surprise, on the 5th of March, I came home with red balloons by the hallway, the kitchen filled with home-cooked gourmet food. This is topped with some desserts and a cookie cake! I remained speechless throughout the night, grateful for their efforts in making it one of the best highlights of the year and a momentous time in my undergrad years in Keele!
Thank you Jan and Idah, Reem, Wajjy, Far Alvin, Ems, Jaz, Tay, Diqin, Nabs, Jane for going out of your way (during such hectic month) in making the day a doting time to remember! We ended the night with writing down our wishes on laterns that were then lighted up by the field. I am beyond thankful and to this day, I can still vividly remember that night as I walked along the corridor filled with balloons in a shade of red.
The greetings, wishes, prayers and presents from my dearest family and friends also made the last wee hours of 21 a memorable one. Alhamdulillah! May Allah bless you all, Amin :)
The start of summer hols pretty much contains a rush of moments. This year kinda is a moment to remember for a handful of my friends and I just because..
Two of my best mates in Keele are now half across the world which explains the stillness of the halls. I miss their spontaneity but at the same time, I'm glad they're having a ball back home! I have spent my days sleeping right after Fajr (as it is now around 2 ish) till just before midday. I find contentment with the books I've been reading next to a hot cup of tea. I have been around different people and various crowds few times a week and catching up with close friends over coffee.. Coffee is still amazing, even after exam season's over.
Now that school's done and over with, frankly speaking, I have no idea what to do next - what to do with my life. Hahahaha. This post is meant to be funny, despite the mundane tune playing as my background music..
Okay with that said, I still cannot depict my life, on what to do next for the long-run...
It is safe to say that currently in the midst of assignments and deadlines, my form of human interaction these past couple of weeks is with my enigmatic hallmatey, Jane Tay! I usually have my dinner quite late, around 8-9 pm and everytime, everytime, I'm in the middle of cooking something light (or I would like to think it is), Jane would either come 2 seconds after me or the latter! As soon as she steps in, not even two steps inside the kitchen, I'd be all like "HIIIIII :D" that sometimes I get the feeling that I freak her out with my palpable excitement. But yes, we go about doing our own thing, cook like chefs (I like to pretend that I am, although most of the time I do not really know what I'm doing hahaha) whilst keeping the conversation going & eventhough we run out of things to say, it is that comfortable silence that I'm so familiar of :)
I only knew Jane when we started being neighbours last fall, as opposed to my five other lively hallmates. However, it is Jane that I so often seem to stumble upon on a daily basis and I can tell you that she brings the zest in me! Conversations with her can last from 5 minutes to 50 minutes, and often about anything. It will always start off with a "how was your day?" or if either one of us is seen next to the stove, it'll be like "you cooking?" before anything else. I'll indefinitely miss being your neighbour Jane! D: