Monday, 12 June 2017

Guard Your Heart.

Guard your heart
For it can save you a lot of heartache
It would not be as bad as it seems
As bad as what I feel right now
If I had guarded my heart.

Guard your heart
For it protects you from falling into deep
It could anchor you down if you fly so high up
And make you see the world in halves again.
If I had guarded my heart

Guard your heart
For it helps ease the pain for when it ends
And let you run as far as you can
From the sadness, sorrow and pain.
And there is really no one but me to blame. 

- Aufa S

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Setia, Takwa, Berani.

Ingrained in our heads were those values alongside some other core values encompassed by the defence institution. I knew if we all lived by that, we'd get through not just the training but also our (long) service ahead of us. Alhamdulillah, as an intake, we frequently do remind each other. A year and 10 months has passed since. Every now and then, we'd reiterate the experiences, the places that have sentimental values to us, unforgetabble incidents both funny and sad. OCS was probably the highlight of 2015 that if I were to write about it, it would take an entire blog. Perhaps someday when time is on my side. 

Intake 12 Sovereign's Parade
(Adapted from thebruneitimes via

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Perpetually Optimistic.

First entry post for 2015. 2015 has been one overwhelming year, full of emotive concoctions. I could not have asked for a better start to the year, well in some parts and I guess, since we're almost coming to an end - an end to 2015.

I will have my new years resolutions ready by next week. Time to get my settings right and ready to take on 2016 with open arms. 

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Reality bites.

I have never understood the notion of the dominion of men. Fine, it is apparent we live in a men's world and as a straight up feminist (to a certain extent), it is hard to accept that fact. Yes men are better in certain areas but surely there are things that men cannot do that women are greater at, even my dad would say so. I guess observing my dad and the way he appreciates and respects my mum has led me to think that such gender inequality, degradation is just an illusion but no, I suppose it does not apply in my very own country.

I grew up with individuals that see both genders as equals so entering an environment that opposes to the notion of equality is sort of saddening. Yes, men have more power compared to women and the Islamic faith confirmed that which I can accept but I mean in other cases; to think low of women and their capabilities and how certain jobs are 'women's job' like how they belong in the kitchen etc...No, I don't think so. I swear I get into alot of arguments with the opposite gender regarding sexism but at the end of the day, I think to myself that it is not worth proving your point to airheaded egoistical men that see the world with only an eye open. 

Sunday, 20 July 2014


Reading back my posts makes me gag and laugh a little.

It has been a crazy 2013/2014.

- Graduated, job hunt and all that jazz.
- Got a job at Ishajaya as a Business Exec.
- Left my amazing boss and colleagues after 3 months.
- Lost 8 kgs!
- Meeley got spayed :(
- Just after turning 23 early this year, I entered a world of unexpected pain.

Bottomline, signed up for something I will never regret.

It's now almost the end of Ramadan and it is always so bittersweet. This year's got to be the most challenging Ramadan but I know it's worth persevering.


Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Dusty 'old blog-thing.

My blog is starting to collect dust. It has been eons since my last post that if I were to note everything down, it would probably take half or the entire day even. I might as well use that time to do something productive...but what?

I mean, uni's over, relaxing is starting to become a chore. I have to say that I really miss writing essays, analysing, researching and the usual debate "on how soon I should start my essay" with myself. I miss the life of a university student. The real world seems...harder but it is about time that I step into it.

Gone are the days where I can take on the world without a care (hyperbolicly speaking), where I can sleep in peace without expecting that one special phonecall from the multitude of jobs I applied to..just, gone. I can only imagine how easy life was when I was in Primary School. Good heavens, would go back to those days any time.

However, trying to equip yourself and undertake the real world is somewhat exciting because aside from all the snoozefest from the long long wait of getting THE job; it's being able to portray your capabilities and knowing that you're chosen for a particular job based on your knowledge (as well as rezeki, ofcourse) Your capabilities are not based on grades anymore like how it is in uni, it is your performance at work, what you bring to the table, the skills you acquire and if they do have a grading system it would probably be based on merits.

Thinking about this makes all the problems I had in my early years so insignificant. It's true what parents tell us when they say "you haven't lived, my child". I'm starting to see how much we go through as we age...

Monday, 13 May 2013

Random thought.

I pray and hope that you're okay.

Meant for March.

The day I turned 22 fell at the start of Easter holiday. As third year students, Easter break does not particularly signify freedom. Well we could fit in some lazing abouts, some series' catch-ups and possible late night chillin' manillin' but deep down, you can't help but be haunted by the possibility of not getting tasks done in time. Deadlines were in three weeks' time, plus exams so technically to summarize this phenomenon, I, well we, didn't have much time but we did have our fair share of procrastination. With this, I did not expect a celebration to my birthday :'(

When reminded of my birthday, I brushed it off, telling ones that did mention not to acknowledge my birthday hahaha. And to my surprise, on the 5th of March, I came home with red balloons by the hallway, the kitchen filled with home-cooked gourmet food. This is topped with some desserts and a cookie cake! I remained speechless throughout the night, grateful for their efforts in making it one of the best highlights of the year and a momentous time in my undergrad years in Keele!

Thank you Jan and Idah, Reem, Wajjy, Far Alvin, Ems, Jaz, Tay, Diqin, Nabs, Jane for going out of your way (during such hectic month) in making the day a doting time to remember! We ended the night with writing down our wishes on laterns that were then lighted up by the field. I am beyond thankful and to this day, I can still vividly remember that night as I walked along the corridor filled with balloons in a shade of red.
The greetings, wishes, prayers and presents from my dearest family and friends also made the last wee hours of 21 a memorable one. Alhamdulillah! May Allah bless you all, Amin :)

Summer '13

The start of summer hols pretty much contains a rush of moments. This year kinda is a moment to remember for a handful of my friends and I just because..

Two of my best mates in Keele are now half across the world which explains the stillness of the halls. I miss their spontaneity but at the same time, I'm glad they're having a ball back home! I have spent my days sleeping right after Fajr (as it is now around 2 ish) till just before midday. I find contentment with the books I've been reading next to a hot cup of tea. I have been around different people and various crowds few times a week and catching up with close friends over coffee.. Coffee is still amazing, even after exam season's over.

Now that school's done and over with, frankly speaking, I have no idea what to do next - what to do with my life. Hahahaha. This post is meant to be funny, despite the mundane tune playing as my background music..

Okay with that said, I still cannot depict my life, on what to do next for the long-run...

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Keeley turns 4.

I miss Keeley! Although she's grumpy half of the time and obnoxious, I still miss and love her! Been missing her these past couple of days...thoughts goes out to you my best companion xx

Perks of living in the halls.

It is safe to say that currently in the midst of assignments and deadlines, my form of human interaction these past couple of weeks is with my enigmatic hallmatey, Jane Tay! I usually have my dinner quite late, around 8-9 pm and everytime, everytime, I'm in the middle of cooking something light (or I would like to think it is), Jane would either come 2 seconds after me or the latter! As soon as she steps in, not even two steps inside the kitchen, I'd be all like "HIIIIII :D" that sometimes I get the feeling that I freak her out with my palpable excitement. But yes, we go about doing our own thing, cook like chefs (I like to pretend that I am, although most of the time I do not really know what I'm doing hahaha) whilst keeping the conversation going & eventhough we run out of things to say, it is that comfortable silence that I'm so familiar of :)

 I only knew Jane when we started being neighbours last fall, as opposed to my five other lively hallmates.  However, it is Jane that I so often seem to stumble upon on a daily basis and I can tell you that she brings the zest in me! Conversations with her can last from 5 minutes to 50 minutes, and often about anything. It will always start off with a "how was your day?" or if either one of us is seen next to the stove, it'll be like "you cooking?" before anything else. I'll indefinitely miss being your neighbour Jane! D:

Friday, 8 February 2013

The prayer.

By far the best depiction of the prayer that is carried out by Muslims five times a day..

Thursday, 7 February 2013


...and live in contentment everyday. No one can promise you contentment but yourself if you see everything that He has bestowed upon you, speaking for myself first and foremost.

Thursdays is love.

I love Thursdays even if it is the busiest out of all days. I have an hour of lecture and three long straight hours of seminar. What makes this day a doting day for me is the fact that I have this module called Global Labour Regulation.

This Independent Study Programme (ISP), consists of information that is closest to what I have always wanted to be or do - law/lawyer. It touches upon the fundamental aspects of unemployment law, migration, several international regulations all of which I meant to read on last year but never found the time to! So this is definitely a great opportunity for me (and my colleagues) to get a grasp of the idea. In doubling the excitement, there are four adept tutors for that module alone, each teaching us according to their expertise on the various topics provided.

Today we did on the EU! I always stumble upon the European Union whenever I casually read a paper, but never got the concept of it. And to my surprise, according to Dr Rachel, a multitude of Brits too do not know how the EU came about. My knowledge of the EU only goes to the extent of the Euro (currency) and that the members are made up of countries in Europe including Britain. Other than that, I have no prior knowledge of  when and how it was established. It is only until today that I partially know bits and bobs although there are still questions lingering in my head that needs to be answered. Nonetheless, thank you Dr Rachel for covering this complex, mind-boggling topic in less than 3 hours.

There is Migration and International Regulations left to cover before the end of the module. This is Week 3 coming to Week 4 and in another two weeks will mark an end to this module :(  During that time, I hope to be able to be at the stage of viciously researching on the topic I may have come up with. Let's hope so! Amiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Work is taking its toll.

A little tired
A bit uninspired
But that will not belittle me

I fear the absence of heart
But fret at the thought of emotions
And any form of expressive dialect
In which contradicts to every piece of writing I make

The beginning to my book starts off with..being lost in a dazzling isolated place
In a state of inertia
However the story still remains a misty haze

I may not know my every slice of life now
But I cannot wait what is in store for me.

- Aufa S.